Second Thoughts
by MrsWhovian
Summary: Lily starts having second thoughts about what happened between her and Iain, or, more accurately, where it happened. Post-ep for 'Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep'.


Lily ran a hand over her face, giggling lightly as Iain tapped her on the nose. She didn't realise how badly she had wanted this until it had actually happened. She tried to relax, taking in the feel of Iain lying next to her, until she remembered _where_ he was lying next to her.

In a hearse.

At her friend's funeral.

Which she had missed.

Immediately, she reached for her shirt and jacket, putting them back on and scrambling to get out of the car, Iain following her, confused.

"Lily? What's going on?" Iain asked.

Lily just shook her head and walked away, leaving Iain stood by the car, tie still hanging loosely around his neck.

* * *

 _ **Knock! Knock! Knock!**_

Lily squeezed her eyes closed, willing whoever was at the door to go away. She hadn't moved from the position she had assumed as soon as she got home two hours ago; curled up in an armchair, arms wrapped around her legs, face pressed into her knees. She was still wearing her funeral outfit, which suddenly felt heavy and uncomfortable against her body.

 _ **Knock! Knock! Knock!**_

This time a voice followed the rap on the door.

"Come on Lily, please open up."

Sighing, Lily went and opened the door, finding Iain on the other side. Unlike Lily, he had got changed in the last two hours, and was now wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt.

"Hey," Lily whispered, looking down at the ground, stepping to one side to let him in.

Iain walked through the door, and made a move to give Lily a hug, but, when she visibly shrank away from him, he settled for giving her hand a gentle squeeze, like he had done at the church all those hours ago, after a drunken Ethan had hurled those hurtful words at her. Letting her go, he followed her into the living room, where she curled up again in the armchair, whilst Iain perched on the edge of the sofa, close enough that if Lily had been sitting straight, their knees would be touching.

"So," Iain asked gently, "What happened back there? Why did you leave so quickly?"

Lily blinked. Had he not worked it out?

"I left," she explained, "Because we had sex in the hearse that had brought our friend's coffin to his funeral. Do you not think that was slightly disrespectful?"

"Hey, I think Cal would have approved!" Iain stated, jokingly.

Lily shook her head. "It's not funny. Today I should have been there for Ethan, and instead I made it all about me and my selfish agenda."

Iain looked serious again, as he placed his hand on Lily's knee, which was still tucked under her chin. "Listen, Ethan had so much support around him. You're right, today may not have been about us, but that doesn't mean that you have to put your happiness on hold because somebody else has something going on. Somebody is always going to be going through a hard time; I mean, look at everything that's happened in the last year or so! Cal died, you got hit by a car, Jacob got stabbed, Connie's daughter nearly died in a car crash, then she nearly died in a _helicopter_ crash, which I was also injured in, Robyn gave birth in a grave yard, Dylan and David have both gone through mental health issues, and Lofty left after a nurse died on his watch! There is always another tragedy waiting to happen; that doesn't mean you have to stop feeling happy, or go after something you want. Have you even told the guys at work that you passed your Fellowship exams?"

"No," she replied, "That isn't important right now."

"Of course it's important!" Iain exclaimed. "You worked so hard – too hard, some might say – to pass these exams. Everyone would be so proud of you. I know I am! Listen, come and sit next to me a second."

Lily nodded, unfolded herself from the armchair, and sat next to him on the sofa, just far enough away that they weren't touching.

"I need to know," Iain asked nervously, "Do you regret what happened between us because of the time and place it happened, or do you regret it in general?"

"No!" Lily protested quickly, eyes widening. "I don't regret it at all, I just… I don't know, I guess it just doesn't sit right with me somehow."

Iain nodded, and slowly reached over to take her hand. When Lily didn't move away, he brought it up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. Lily had no control over the smile that grew on her face, nor the blush that spread across her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Iain said softly, "I shouldn't have pushed you into this so quickly. Ethan was right. Kind of. Not about being a, you know, but about being scared. And that's perfectly natural. I knew you were scared about taking the next step, but when you kissed me all common sense went out of the window, because I've been hoping that something would happen between us for so long."

"It isn't your fault," Lily tried to reassure him. "I didn't ask you to stop. I wanted this too. I guess I'm just still scared. This is all so new."

"I know this is kind of hypocritical, seeing as we've already gone from 0-100 in the space of a couple of hours, but maybe we should try and slow things down a little bit. We can go at your pace; I promise." Iain looked at Lily, waiting while she thought about what he had just said.

"Maybe," she said nervously, "We could just see what feels natural at the time?"

Iain nodded, smiling at her. "And what feels natural now?" he asked, a slight flirtatious tone in his voice.

Laughing quietly, Lily moved closer to Iain, took his face in her hands, and placed a soft but confident kiss on Iain's lips.

Smiling, Iain wrapped his arms around Lily's waist, pulling her closer as he let her deepen the kiss.

Iain didn't go home that night.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! I felt like Lily would feel a little guilty about what her and Iain got up to, even if it wasn't put in the episode! Please leave a review!**


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